At the Table – Becoming a Godly Wife

Becoming a Godly Wife: Part 1

We are to be godly wives, but what does that look like? It appears to be a daunting task, for even Proverbs 31:10 states, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. ”

Over the next few weeks I’d like to simplify the task of becoming a godly wife into four goals:

1) Honor Your Husband
2) Love Your Husband
3) Submit to Your Husband
4) Serve Your Husband

One of the greatest ways that you can show your husband love is to honor (or respect) him.  Thus, I have chosen this to be a goal all of its own. I would venture to guess that just about any husband would tell you that they could accomplish the impossible…so long as their wife was behind them.  However, if their wife does not show them honor, they will feel like a failure…even if by everyone else’s standards they are a success.

Before anyone thinks this is just a philosophical or psychological theory, please read the following verses:

“Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Eph. 5:33)

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.” (Prov. 12:4)

Dear sisters, over the years of ministering in churches and working with wives and various women’s groups, I have been greatly grieved at the astounding proportions of wives who show dishonor of their husbands. I lost track many years ago of the number of times I have heard the following type of statements:

“If we relied on the (men of the church) to organize (this activity), it would NEVER get done.”

“My husband never knows what is going on or which end is up.”

“My husband is practically helpless around (the house); if I didn’t do it…”

“I can’t believe my husband forgot again…”

“My husband doesn’t know anything about Scripture…”

“When it comes to disciplining the kids, I have a plan and my husband always goes against it.”

“My husband is so lazy.”

And on and on the complaints go…  Ladies, my dear sisters, how can we be so critical of our husbands who are one with us?  Sisters, this is ‘shaming our husbands’ as talked about in the verse above!  Can you imagine, for a moment, how much it would hurt if your husband did the same to you?  If your husband continually made negative comments of you, how deep would that cut you?

I am going to say this as gently as I can…Dear sisters in Christ, there are numerous women that I have had in our churches who complained so much about their husbands, that had I not known these men myself, I would be certain that they must be the laziest, most unintelligent creatures roaming the earth.  This ought not to be so!

So, since this is such a critical component to loving our husbands, a command from God, AND such a common area in which women sin (yes, sin), I am going to take this week to discuss a few ways to AVOID (or how not to honor your husband) and next week to discuss how we can actively show honor to our husbands.


•Complain about your husband to other women, men, or on public forums (oh yes, I’ve seen this much on Facebook as well…)

•Freely share your husband’s faults with others (seriously, would you want your husband to share yours?)

•Compare your husband to other men (in conversation with your husband, other women, or even just in your own mind)

•Using an unkind voice in communication with your husband

•Belittling accomplishments your husband makes

•Further belittling your husband when he makes a mistake, cutting him down

•Keeping record of all the ‘wrongs’ your husband has done (and then ‘dumping’ them on him at one time)

•Blaming your husband for trials in your life or your family’s life

•Not allowing your husband to teach you or lead your family

• Believing and commenting that you could do a task better than your husband

So, the challenge before us this week is to examine our words and our attitudes to see how we are ‘dishonoring’ our husbands.  Dear sister, let’s not be ‘rottenness in our husband’s bones’.

Next week…how to actively show honor to your husband.

Grateful that God is ever patient with me as I seek to obey Him,


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